Come Dine With Me

I have been bursting to say that somehow I got through all the audition phases for this fabulous programme and have just spent the past week filming it with 4 fellow diners. Alas we can't divulge details of menus or winners but just being part of the experience is a winner. Although it's mad and I doubt I've had more than 12 hours sleep since Monday. It won't be screened until next year and I may have to leave the country before then because it doesn't always give a flattering portrait. Amazing how easy it is to forget the cameras are in your face when you're scoffing which could explain why the vino slipped so easily down (whoops). But when you're at a dinner party, you're not acting and I promise you it was a real dinner party!
I'm so tired I can't begin to tell you. It was the craziest, daftest, funniest, most intense week I've ever had. I started the week as a romantic novelist and ended it like Keith Richards. One more day and I would have been throwing TVs through windows. And yes we really didn't know who was going to be at the first party or where we were going each night.
So that's this week's news. Now how the heck do I get back to normal life????

A Very Mixed Bag

Spent a lovely day in my official capacity as Haworth Cat Rescue patron being there for a photocall with Gary 'Jaw's Tiplady, who presented them with his wire sculpture of a cat - and Sherlock the tiny ginger kitten. Aw!
Work-wise, had a great day in Blackpool doing a talk about writing and meeting lots of other author friends - always a giggle - plus it's fascinating to compare notes and discover how we all work. I picked up quite a few tips from my partner in crime that day, Kate Long, who was lovely. And dragged myself out of my pit of flu to do a talk in Doncaster last night and I am SO glad I did because they were friendly and warm and I had a fab evening.
The copyedit for book 4 is taking an eternity though. That's the trouble with detailed books - they have to be right and checked and checked and at every reading I've picked up something I've missed. Would-be writers. There is no substitute for letting your manuscripts rest for a week and then picking them up to find all the inconsistencies. Even though I thought I'd spotted them all, the copyeditor spotted loads more and when I got it back, I found ones that she'd missed too. It's been a real labour of love though. Very hard work, lots of long hours have gone into this book because there are so many threads and issues that I want to do justice to.
Inbetween having a snotty nose and spotting mistakes, I'm romping ahead with book 5, which I am loving. AND I got my first British royalties this week. Book 1 has broken the barrier and so I'm rewarding myself a big treat (Windows 7 - so it's not a sexy treat really!)
Right off to get more tissues and menthol sweets and maybe just a dash of coffee in my rum... er I mean rum in my coffee.
Possibly doing a talk up in Tyneside soon. I get a heck of a lot of hits from that neck of the woods - daily, according to my stats report, so hopefully I'll get a nice turn out.

Once in a while I read a book that totally and utterly hooks me in from page one and I get that incredibly empty feeling when I've finished. Well I've just read another - Jane Elmor's 'Pictures of You'

It's one of the most beautiful, clever, emotional books I've read and was the perfect book for my holiday. Well, it would have been had I not finished it so bloody quickly.
The lives of three women interweave - a mother and a daughter - but who is the third woman and how does she fit into the story? It's one of those books that takes you on a journey and changes your conceptions and reveals its secrets so delicately and deftly I was in awe of the author's ability to do that. Elmor - I'm officially jealous.
It's a fab read and I loved it so much I'm shouting it from the rooftops!

Boats, War, Italian men in uniform... and far too many Cocktails

I have just come back from the best holiday of my life and am so fired up after relaxing on that scale (something I find very difficult to do) that I think I could write a whole book in a week.
I love P & O ships, especially the one I went on this time which is my all time favourite (The Aurora) - I just totally chill. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, it was boiling hot, the cocktails were cool, the company was fantastic - can't remember laughing that much in years - and I put twelve stone on with fillet steaks and bread and Pinotage.
And I had a huge history lesson thrown in too. Had never been to Cephalonia before and didn't know anything about the history of the island especially during the war when the Italian's occupied it and then ended up fighting the German army in defence of all the Greek people they had befriended over the 2 years they had stayed there. I might have known that had I watched Captain Corelli's Mandolin, but I stayed away from it because I'd heard it was rotten. Well, after visiting that gorgeous island with its gold-toothed goats and underground grottos and caves, I've just sat and watched CCM and sobbed like a right big girl all the way through it and loved it. Nicholas Cage, apparently, not everyone's idea of an Italian Captain, but he'd have done for me. Lovely.
Had the most expensive lunch of my life in St Marks Square in Venice (where a gin and tonic is at least 16 euros) - but you know, just for once, I thought 'sod it' and we tucked in and relaxed away from the mad heat and the crowds and sat in a restaurant which looked straight out of so many years ago. Not a good sign for the purse when the waiters are dressed in Armani suits. Then again, the whole of Venice is like a film set and looks too beautiful to be real.
But the window of high life is over for now, and I'm plunged back into a world where no one calls me 'Ma'am' or makes my bed for me and feeds me and then clears my plate away when I've finished. Or when I draw the curtains to find a sunny Adriatic port and am gently rocked to sleep in a very luxurious cradle. Back to shopping and clearing out the cat litter trays and ironing school uniforms. But I am so raring to get at my next book, I'm feeling like Red Rum at the starting line at Aintree. With one big difference. Until I get back on my diet, my bum is a lot bigger than his ever was! Sigh...

Memories - right up there with the best!!

I'm absolutely reeling from last night - it was the most brilliant night I've had in years. Thanks to lots of flirty Sean Connery lookalikes (who are absolute CHARMERS) and a host of other Bond characters.
It was the actual launch party of Gary Tiplady's exhibition and the sky was flooding with rain. We had all put so much work into it and I was terrified the weather would scare people off. I'm sure it did some - but it was packed - Lord Lieutenant, the glamorous Carl Wilde and John (I love them, they're fab), Dickie Bird - friends, Romans, Countrymen... the wine flowed (and the very strong vodka martinis) my pals turned up, the exhibition looked fab, the canapes were GORGEOUS and plentiful, everyone was glam and blinged up to buggery. I can understand why Bond nights are so popular - they were brilliant and all turned up to support Gary whose exhibition was a smash. ITV turned up, photographers, journalists - and everyone had an absolute ball. The kids loved it, the Cooper Art Gallery staff loved it and as you might gather from the photos, I had a pretty nice time myself!
If you live near Barnsley you have to call in and see this exhibition - it's informative, amusing, interesting, interactive, photo-friendly and just bloody unique.
And, just in case you want the night of your life, here are the list of lookalikes you could hire. They are absolutely brilliant and you'll be blown away by their professionalism, fun, charm and lookalikeability.
Jaws
Oddjob
Sean Connery
Blofeld
Sean Connery
Pierce Brosnan
Bond Sean Connery

Wire You So Tall Mister?

There's an exciting week to come for me. If you're a bit stuck what to do with your kids this holiday and can travel to Barnsley - come to the Cooper Art Gallery on Church Street and see my mate Gary's wire Art Exhibition. He's a 7ft 3" professional 'Jaws' Bond villain lookalike (and yes he's available for hire for parties - see here. It's a great exhibition and - because he's a giant - the kids can walk in his footsteps and measure their hands against his AND have your picture taken with his cut out if he isn't there. And there's a lovely cafe! I've done the wording for the exhibition which was pretty simple after I'd cracked what to do...I simply used the words of the man himself and hoovered up his quotes. And my pal Chris Sedgewick - who is an absolute master photographer has interpreted my words and made a cracking display. It's something we are all very proud of. And it's been a pleasure to do. It's nice to get involved in other projects when you're an author, but I try not to spread myself too thin these days. I've learnt to say no. But this was a corker I couldn't refuse.
So - think on, come and see it. Gary was really bullied as a kid because he was so small and skinny and then became a giant. He rose above the bullies, embraced his differences and made himself a success. A very inspirational story - so come and be inspired

A Very Above Everage Week!

Do you know, sometimes you think you're doing someone a favour and you end up being rewarded about 10 million times more than you giving. That happened to me today and I'm surprised I can type this because I'm so far up in the air dangling from cloud number 9 that I can barely reach the keyboard.
Had a frantic call yesterday asking me to go in and do a radio show on Radio Sheffield. And, to be honest, I am so busy I almost said no, but they have been really good to me and it was the presenter Gareth's birthday - and I just couldn't say no. It's a fun light hearted show touching on news stories and things in the media - and they opened by asking us what piece of advice we'd ask Dame Edna Everage for if we were on a girly night out. Well, I just ADORE her but the thing that first came to mind was specs advice. I wish I were brave enough to wear those gorgeous creations and I wanted her to take me to the places she goes to get them made so she could tell me which I looked anything like as fab as her in them. Then BLOW ME - they switched over to the phones and there talking to me ME was Dame Edna Everage herself!! I was (and still am) totally starstruck. Especially when she said she had her glasses specially made and might just have some made for me! Okay, I'm not hanging by the post box but if they did arrive, I think I would burst. How fab is that! And there was me thinking that I was doing the favour.
The rain is pelting down and I don't give a hoot. What a way to end up a week. When you get author perks, my GOD are they worth waiting for. :)